Plovers Tame Tigers

Baton Rouge (Reuters): On Saturday night the North Central South Dakota Polytechnic Institute Freaking Plovers took a hard fought, albeit sloppy 28-12 win over the Tigers of Louisiana State University and Agricultural and Mechanical College.

Except for 2 coverage busts resulting in first quarter touchdowns, the Tiger defense played like the Asian Privateers of yore. They sacked Plover QB John Flowers 6 times and forced 4 fumbles, recovering 2. One of those fumbles was returned 9 yards for a score.

According to an unnamed source we found milling about outside of Death Valley, Flowers completed a mere 9 of 20 passes for 282 yards and 3 TD. Halfback Seth Johnson carried the ball 18 times for 107 yards and 1 score.

During his post game press conference, Plover Head Football Coach and Chancellor (for life), Gomer S. Blake was clearly unhappy with his team’s performance.

“John (Flowers) must learn to take care of the ball. The ball is our most precocious obsession. Let’s win! And our offensive line needs to protect him better. They plain slurped! Let’s win!”, he bellowed.

Next week the Mobridge Maulers journey to Los Angeles to listen to the USC band drone on their stupid song.

Box Score 1st 2nd 3rd 4th Final
Plovers 14 7 7 0 28
LSU 0 3 9 0 12
How They Scored:
1st  Quarter 3:46 TD  Plovers: G. Williams 59 yd pass from J. Flowers (W. Miller kick)
0:22 TD  Plovers: G. Williams 65 yd pass from J. Flowers (W. Miller kick)
2nd Quarter 1:33 TD Plovers: K. Powell 19 yd pass from J. Flowers (W. Miller kick)
1:01 FG LSU: A. Tucker 36 yds
3rd Quarter 2:55 TD Plovers: S. Johnson 5 yd run (W. Miller kick)
1:29 FG LSU: A. Tucker 41 yds
1:23 TD LSU: B. Sears 9 yard fumble return (2 pt. failed)
4th Quarter None
Plovers Stats: LSU
9 First Downs 11
362 Total Offense 186
27-80-1 Rushes-Yds-TD 21-(-32)-0
9-20-3 Comp-Att-TD 17-27-0
282 Passing Yards 218
3-10 3rd Down Conv 3-11
2-2 4th Down Conv 0-3
3-2-0 Red Zone-TD-FG 2-0-2
2 Fumbles Lost 1
0 Intercepted 0
3-45 Punts-Avg 3-49
10:34 T.O.P 9:26
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