Colossal Football Association Announces Fall Play

Leadership of the Colossal Football Association (CFA) has decided to play their 2020 college football season as scheduled in spite of the coronavirus pandemic, according to reports Monday morning.

Radiofreedakota.org reported “multiple random anonymous sources” have told the website that the CFA will play the fall season as scheduled to honor its lucrative television contracts. The report said, “we want the money.”

Sports radio host Harry Berry said on his show Monday morning the CFA will make a formal announcement on Tuesday.

“Both conferences of The Colossal will announce that play will go on for the fall football seasons,” Berry said on his broadcast. “They are hungry for the sweet money of the TV contracts.”

We spoke with North Central South Dakota Polytechnic Institute’s (Norcentral) Head Football Coach and Chancellor (for life) Gomer S. Bake on Monday afternoon.

“Easily it’s the right move for our conference and the CFA. Let’s win! There are gabs of TV revenue money that will be under the table with the other conferences playing platypus. Anyway, our players have impunity from the Colognla virus. After all they are only a bunch of ones and zeros running around inside of a black box that is labeled Made in China. Let’s win!”

He continued, “Of course we will be looking after the health of our fans and will be requiring masks and socialist distancing at the stadium. We will be reducing the available tickets for our home games to 49,000. Let’s win!”

Meanwhile, the Big Ten (14 teams) and the Big 12 (10 teams) are expected to announce the cancellation or postponement of their fall schedules as early as Tuesday morning.

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