Plovers Announce Their 2019 Schedule

Mobridge (CNN): After months of expectation and high anxiety throughout Plover Nation, North Central South Dakota Polytechnic Institute (Norcentral) has announced its 2019 Football Schedule.

Professional Co-ed Lynette “Squeaky” McLean will be handing out garters to the high school football players in attendance

As always, it is a blockbuster schedule with almost ten pre-season top 25 ranked opponents. But this year it is also Star Spangled as the Mobridge Maulers host the pre-season #23 United States Military Academy on September 7th and visit the eleventh ranked United States Naval Academy on October 12th. This will the first time for our Plovers to face either academy.

As always, the Plovers will be handing out cheesy promotional merchandise at four home games. As a special treat this season, at the October 26th game with USC, Norcentral’s Professional Coeds will be handing out souvenir garters to every high school football player in attendance.

The Plovers open the season on August 30 at conference foe, Georgia.

Date Opponent Event
30-Aug At Georgia
7-Sep #23 Army Military Appreciation Day (Plover Pistol Grips)
14-Sep Open Date Sleep Late Day
21-Sep #24 Auburn Band Day
28-Sep At Arkansas
5-Oct #25 Florida State Coach Gomer Do-rags
12-Oct At #11 Navy
19-Oct #13 LSU Plover Plane Flyover
26-Oct #12 USC Professional Coed Garters
2-Nov #28 Oregon Homecoming
9-Nov At Nebraska
16-Nov #21 Texas Fan Appreciation Day
23-Nov At #5 Oklahoma

We spoke with Plover Head Football Coach and Chancellor (for life) Gomer S. Blake after the announcement.

“I want to know who the Jack hell signed off on this schedule. Let’s win!”, he bellowed. “I don’t want to play teams like Army. Their triple option frappiola offense is an anarchranism. Let’s win! I don’t want to waste a precocious week of practice preparing for an offense that we will never see again. Let’s win!”.

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