Norcentral Announces Hiring Of Coach Gomer S Blake

The North Central South Dakota Polytechnic Institute (Norcentral) announced on Sunday evening the appointment of Gomer S Blake as its new Head Football Coach and Chancellor.

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Incoming Head Coach and Chancellor Gomer S Blake

In making the announcement, institute trustee Melvin S Marx proclaimed, “This is a new dawning for Norcentral, its students  athletes, its alumni and the citizens of North Central South Dakota.”

After the coronation, Coach Gomer spoke briefly with the press covering this stunning development.

I’d like to thank the trustees, the student athlete body, loyal alumni and the  entire Freaking Plover Nation for choosing me to direct your proud football program and its institution of higher learning. It is such an honor to be selected as your next Head Football Coach and Chancellor. I am humbled that you would place your faith and trust in me. This is a responsibility that I do not take lightly, and I will endeavor to represent you with the utmost transparency and boldness.”

Lastly, I would like to thank my family and friends for their unending support, my coaching brothers for their late-night pep talks, and the baristas at the local coffee houses who saw me entirely too often throughout my long career.”

As he left for the evening, Coach Gomer was overheard mumbling, “It’s about freaking time they game me total control of…….

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