Blake Returns from a Long Lost Weekend

Mobridge (AP):  After an absence of four days, North Central South Dakota Polytechnic Institute’s (Norcentral) Head Football Coach and Chancellor (for life), Gomer S. Blake has reemerged.  And, he has reemerged with a wrath never seen in the annals of college sports.

On Thursday afternoon Blake assembled a group of sycophants for an event poorly resembling a press conference.

“Let me say this about that game Saturday”, he bellowed.  “Losing is not receptacle. In a nut shale, losing is for, you know, losers!  Let’s win!  In Plover Nation, we respect wins, and only wins.  We are here for national championships.  Anything else is unaccessable.  Let’s win!”

“I have taken traction in response to Saturday’s loss.  This morning I gave kicker former kicker Brian Todd 50 bucks and a bus ticket back to his home town, Liberal, Kansas.  We also took away that nice car we were letting him use.  He can go play soccer at some junior college down there for all I care.  He is gone, history, his memory expurged from our psychiatry.  Let’s win!”

Blake continued, “And as for the play of our defense.  It was prophetic, prophetic I say!  Prophetic to cylindrical proportions.  Thirty points should be enough to win a ballgame.  Hell’s balls, 14 ought to be enough to win.  Let’s win!  I fired (Defensive Coordinator) Coach Thorp this morning.  He can now go back to high school coaching, where he belongs.  Let’s win!  I will be resuming the roll of Defensive Coordinator until I can find a guy who can do the job rightly.”

Since Blake has cut the only kicker on the Plover squad it will be interesting to see who assumes the role as the Plovers square off against the Oregon Ducks on Saturday.

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