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Home of the Freaking Plovers


North Central South Dakota Polytechnic Institute (Norcentral for short) in Mobridge, South Dakota, is the nation’s premier football mill developing a legacy of athletic and academic achievements. The Centre for Perpetual Motion, the Academy of Overly Complicated Mechanical Processes, the School of Reinvention, the Institute of Business Ethics and the School of Chrysopoeial Engineering form the core of the Institute’s varied academic offerings.  Actually, that’s about all we have for academic offerings.

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Plovers hold off Navy for National Championship

New Orleans (AP): A packed house of 76,467 fans at the  Louisiana Mercedes-Benz Superdome came expecting fireworks from two high powered offenses. What they got instead was a defensive battle as the North Central South Dakota Polytechnic Institute (Norcentral) Freaking Plovers slipped by the United States Naval Academy Midshipmen by a score of 20-17 to take the 2019 NCAAA Div. 1 FBS Championship.

According to a Navy source, that spoke to us anonymously because he is not authorized to leak information to the press, this was Navy’s best shot at a National Championship since they prevailed in 1926. But on Saturday night, it was not to be. The Navy offense pounded with limited success with their triple option attack for 3 quarters. In the 4th quarter they shifted to the air, claiming enough success to make a game of it late.

For the Mobridge Maulers, they did none of that. While the defense was stout for 3 quarters, the offense sputtered after two scores in the first.

Seth Johnson rumbles 32 yards for a TD in the 1st Quarter

At his post-game presser, Head Football Coach and Chancellor (for life), Gomer S. Blake was more interested in personal glory than team success.

“What about Coach of the Year? Why haven’t I been recognized for Coach of the Year? It takes more than a great team to win the National Championship, it take a great coach. That’s what I am and I deserve the respect that comes with it. Let’s win!”

Box Score 1st 2nd 3rd 4th Final
Navy 0 0 3 14 17
Plovers 14 0 0 6 20
How They Scored:  
1st  Quarter 3:43 TD Plovers: S. Johnson 32 yd run (W. Miller kick)
  2:33 TD Plovers: G. Williams 58 yd pass from D. Tyson (W. Miller kick)
2nd Quarter None
3rd Quarter 1:20 FG Navy: Q. Stokes 45 yd
4th Quarter 3:16 TD Plovers: C. Browning 3 yd run (2 pt failed)
  2:47 TD Navy: D. Nash 10 yd pass from N. Lowery (Q. Stokes kick)
  1:15 TD Navy: M. Gibbs 8 yd pass from N. Lowery (Q. Stokes kick)
Navy Stats: Plovers
15 First Downs 12
265 Total Offense 300
22-85-0 Rushes-Yds-TD 30-218-2
15-19-2 Comp-Att-TD 3-4-1
180 Passing Yards 82
4-8 3rd Down Conv 0-20-0
0-2 4th Down Conv 2-1-0
2-2-0 Red Zone-TD-FG 0
0 Fumbles Lost 0
0 Intercepted 0
1-35 Punts-Avg 1-18*
8:19 T.O.P 11:41

RB Seth Johnson had a strong evening for America’s Team

Blake accepts the National Championship Trophy.

*Editor’s Note: In an earlier edition of this story the box score erroneously reported that the Plover’s punted once for 48 yards. The correct stat is once for 18 yards. We regret the error, but not as much as we regret that shitty punt.

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Plovers Take Bama, Advance to National Championship

Houston (Houston Post): The North Central South Dakota Polytechnic Institute (Norcentral) Freaking Plovers repeated as champions of the BI6 Conference on Saturday night, taking a 19-9 decision over the Alabama Crimson Tide at Houston’s Reliant Stadium. The 71,994 fans attending, expecting offensive fireworks, were instead treated to a defensive spectacle of the ages.

Tide quarterback, Jack Sanders, ran amok in the first quarter picking up 56 yards on scrambles. Those yards would later be erased by a swarming Plover pass rush. The Mobridge Maulers would record 7 sacks before the evening came to close.

Alabama brought some drama to the contest late in the 4th quarter. After scoring with just over 2 minutes remaining they recovered the ensuing onside kick at the Norcentral 48. But to no avail as the Plovers soon took over on downs and burned the remaining clock.

After the contest, Head Football Coach and Chancellor (for life), Gomer S. Blake, was met by ESPN sideline reporter Beth Mowins. “This was a great day for Plover Nation!”, he bellowed. “I was a little disproportioned by our performance on offense, but our defense played with veracity. I am proud of this team, lets win!”

The Plovers take home their sixth consecutive BI6 Conference Title and are poised to play the winner of Saturday’s classic Army-Navy game for the National Championship on January 4th.

Box Score 1st 2nd 3rd 4th Final
Bama 0 3 0 6 9
Plovers 7 6 0 6 19
How They Scored:
1st  Quarter 1:44 TD Plovers: C. Browning 1 yd run (W. Miller kick)
2nd Quarter 1:43 TD Plovers: G. Williams 25 yd pass from D. Tyson (2 pt failed)
0:01 FG Bama: R. Smith 45 yd
3rd Quarter None
4th Quarter 4:03 TD Plovers: M. Weddle 9 yd pass from D. Tyson (2 pt failed)
2:12 TD Bama: M. Taylor 16 yd pass from J. Sanders (2 pt failed)
Bama Stats: Plovers
11 First Downs 10
179 Total Offense 241
19-0-0 Rushes-Yds-TD 24-131-1
15-20-1 Comp-Att-TD 7-11-2
179 Passing Yards 110
4-8 3rd Down Conv 5-8
1-2 4th Down Conv 2-3
2-1-0 Red Zone-TD-FG 3-2-0
0 Fumbles Lost 0
0 Intercepted 0
2-42 Punts-Avg 0-0
1-15 Penalties-Yards 0-0
10:16 T.O.P 9:44
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